1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）

2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）

3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”

4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？

回答：有没有想过，在家里搞个“生态洗手池”，一边冲水一边唱歌，一不留神，就能把病菌都洗掉啦！

5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：

刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，去除异味，让人倍增自信；至于洗脸，不成问题，用牛奶，它纯净无刺激性，还能滋润柔嫩的面部肌肤。

6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，要买就得一次买100万个，一少一个就失去收藏价值，这不是什么好玩的游戏吗？

7.now business is not good to do, eh?

8.these days, I heard that if you offend the handsome guy or the cool guy in our class, they will drag you out and give you a beating! They'll gouge your eyes out, pull off your hair, pour acid on your face, knock out your teeth, cut off your tongue!

9.this weekend we don't collect gifts; we only collect mineral water! The boy holding the bottle of mineral water said with a smile: "My eyes are only for you!!"

10.in class one day when teacher was calling roll call and didn't find someone's name after saying it twice loudly.

11.Harbin city stops water supply by Nanfushan Spring!

12.a girl met a robber who asked her if she had money; she replied that she was from the Mining University and just graduated but hadn't found a job yet.

13.haerbin university student: "I'm afraid there will be an earthquake? What should we do if it happens?"

14.i hate two kinds of people:

15.playing CS (Counter-Strike), I saw someone wearing glasses rushing forward with a 51 (a Chinese phrase meaning "to kill") written on his back.

16.wake up~ Teacher said one sentence: “Today's lesson ends here….” Then woke up~

17.in our dormitory, there is this SG who just learned to play the violin; his sound is like scratching at the bottom of a pot... sharp sounds hurting our ears;

18.someone sang in our dormitory: “I haven’t been big brother for many years...” Soon someone yelled: “Big Brother, please stop!”

19.telling HR about party members in our class: there are 14 party members among us boys.

20.asked food vendor about warming up during cold weather: eat cotton balls to keep warm~