1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）

2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）

3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”

4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？ 回答：你工作了没？那就去单位拉！ 你上学了没？那就去学校拉！ 你有朋友吗？那就去朋友家拉！ 你有亲戚吗？那就去亲户家拉！ 你有车吗？那就去野外拉！

5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：

6.Olympic吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，一次买100万个，不少一个，就失去收藏价值。

7.now business is bad, right?

8.According to the rumors, anyone who dares to insult a handsome guy or an ugly guy will be dragged out and beaten! Cut off their eyes, pull out their hair, pour acid on their face, knock out their teeth!

9.This weekend I won't accept any gifts; I'll only accept mineral water! The boy holding the bottle of mineral water in his hand said with a smile: "My eyes are only for you!!"

10.When calling the roll after class, if you're not present, your final grade will be deducted by 50 points! When he heard that someone was missing from the list of party members at school,

11.The water stop in Harbin is sponsored by Nongfu Spring!

12.A girl being robbed trembled and said: "I'm from a mining college; I just graduated but haven't found a job yet..." The robber burst into tears upon hearing this and said,

13."If there's an earthquake in Harbin," my girlfriend asked me nervously during our trip to XX what we would do then? My boyfriend replied,

14.I hate two kinds of people: those who have racial discrimination and those who are black.

15.Playing CS (Counter-Strike), one player saw another character with thick glasses charging forward with a bat labeled "51" written on it –

16.Waking up was as difficult as shaking awake... Teacher said one sentence: “Today's lesson ends here..." Woke up...

17.In our dormitory, there was once an SG (Super Gamer) who had just learned how to play the violin; however,

18.Sister-in-law envies me so much~~~ So I tease her by saying,

19.Teacher asks about party members in our class: There are 14 party members among us students; male students make up half.

20.Asking for advice at school canteen: What should we eat during cold weather?

21.If replying comments were virtuous deeds,

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