2010年最值得您拜读的冷笑话嘴笨如何哄异地恋女朋友开心
1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）
2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）
3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”
4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？ 回答：你工作了没？那就去单位拉！ 你上学了没？那就去学校拉！ 你有朋友吗？那就去朋友家拉！ 你有亲戚吗？那就去亲户家拉！ 你有车吗？那就去野外拉！
5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：
刷牙用白醋，因为它能杀灭细菌、除异味且保持一天口齿清新，让人倍增自信；
洗脸用牛奶，因为它纯天然，无刺激性，还能滋润柔嫩的面部肌肤；
晚上泡脚用哈啤，因为它松骨润肤、活血通络，可以消除一日的学习疲劳；
洗发用红牛，因为它可以刺激发根，让每根发丝都兴奋起来，充满活力。
6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，每一个形态各异，要买的话必须一次买100万个，那么即使少一个也会失去收藏价值，从而赚翻。
7.now business is not good, right? Old Big: Why? Little Beauty: "Bird flu" Old Big: “So what?”
8.According to rumors, anyone who insults a handsome guy like Xiao Chen or Guo Ge will be dragged out and beaten up! They'll have their eyes gouged out, all their hair pulled out, and they'll be splashed with acid! Even MIMI will be cut off!
9.This weekend I won't accept gifts; the only gift I'll accept is mineral water! The boy holding the bottle of water in his hand isn't chocolate or roses; it's my eyes that only see you!!
10.The teacher was counting attendance during class time and said that if anyone wasn't present by the end of the period, their final grade would be deducted by 50 points! As he was about to call out someone's name, he jumped over it unintentionally; so he shouted loudly: "Teacher, you missed one!" The old teacher looked down at him and replied calmly: "There isn't any..."