1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）

2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）

3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”

4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？

回答：有没有想过，在家里搞个“生态池”，让所有的污水都在家中循环利用呢？这样不仅解决了问题，还能享受一番“自给自足”的乐趣！

5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：

刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，去除异味，让你的牙齿清新如新；至于洗脸，不成问题，用牛奶，它既温和又滋润，可以保养你的肌肤；同时，你还可以根据自己的喜好选择苹果味、草莓味等各种香型；

6.其实，如果奥运吉祥物设计得像“百万雄师过大江”，每个人都要买100万个，那岂不是更有收藏价值？

7.now is not a good time to do business, you know.

8.according to the legend, if you are in the main building and accuse one Ma Qing or Xiao He of being handsome, they will be dragged out and beaten until they are bald and blind.

9.this weekend I won't accept gifts; I only accept mineral water! The boy holding a bottle of mineral water said: "My eyes are only on you!!"

10.when the teacher was calling roll, he accidentally skipped over his name and shouted: "Teacher, you missed me!"

11.haerbin city's water stop is sponsored by nongfu spring!

12.a girl who was robbed trembled and said: "I'm from mining university, just graduated but haven't found a job yet..."

13.if harbin really does have an earthquake, we'll be in trouble at XX...

14.i hate two kinds of people:

1.one with racial discrimination;

2.blacks;

3.those who don't know how to count!

15.during cs gameplay, i saw someone wearing sunglasses with a sign that read "51" going forward; below it was written -

"wo shi dang yuan,follow me!!!”

16.still can't wake up~ Teacher said one sentence: “today's class ends here......” woke up~

17.in our dormitory, there's someone who just learned to play the violin; those notes sounded like fingernails scraping against a pot... so sharp that it hurt our eardrums; out of kindness we didn't discourage him.

18.my roommate wants something from my sister-in-law... she looks at me enviously~~~ then i teased her saying,"it's easy now! Just go get an ID card for nine bucks."

19.the student reported to the leader about their work: our class has 14 party members and eight boys.

20.asked food vendor: what should i eat during cold weather? answer: eating cotton helps keep warm~