1.男孩对女孩说：“如果你愿意，我愿意！！！”（暗语你猜出来了吗？）

2.今天我也当了回“HR”！我看了半天，对乌龟说：“你们谁先动我就买谁！”（HR=猎头）

3.去闲逛，小凤与同学走失，突然商场广播响起：“请小凤小朋友速到二楼广播台，你妈妈在找你……”

4.提问：哈尔滨停水4天，要赶上拉肚子了怎么办？

回答：有没有想过，在家里搞个“生态洗手池”，一边冲水一边唱歌，一不留神，就能把病菌都洗掉啦！

5.今日正午起，工大进入全面停水状态，据说至少四天，为帮大家顺利度过缺水期，特提供以下应急方案：

刷牙用白醋，杀灭细菌，去除异味，让人倍增自信；至于洗脸，不成问题，用牛奶，它纯净无刺激性，还能滋润柔嫩的面部肌肤。

6.其实奥运吉祥物应该设计为“百万雄师过大江”，一共一百万个，要买就得一次买100万个，一少一个就失去收藏价值，这不是什么好玩的游戏吗？

7.now business is not good to do, eh?

8.these days, I heard that if you offend the handsome guy or the cool guy in our class, they will drag you out and give you a beating! They'll gouge your eyes out, pull off your hair, pour acid on your face, knock out your teeth, cut off your tongue!

9.this weekend we don't collect gifts; we only collect mineral water! The boy holding the bottle of mineral water said with a smile: "My eyes are only for you!!"

10.in class one day when teacher was calling roll call and didn't find someone's name after saying it twice loudly.

11.Harbin city stops water supply by Nanfeng Mountain Spring.

12.a girl who met a robber trembled and said: "I'm from Mining University; just graduated but haven't found a job yet..."

13.(Harbin Institute of Technology) I asked my boyfriend what would happen if there was an earthquake in Harbin while we were at XX? He replied with a smile: "That would be perfect; no need for me to move myself!"

14.I hate two types of people: those who have racial discrimination and those who are black...and those who can't count!

15.playing CS (Counter-Strike), he saw someone wearing 51 glasses charging forward with them; below it was written - "wo shi dang yuan" (I am the party member), follow me!!

16.sleeping like crazy~ Teacher said one sentence - “Today's lesson ends here….” Woke up~

17.suddenly someone entered our dorm room playing violin; his sound was like scratching nails on pots...so sharp that it hurt everyone's ears! We tried not to discourage him.

18.someone sang in our dorm room - “I won’t be big brother anymore..” Soon someone yelled - Big Brother please don’t sing!

19.asked HR about some words during self-study time: “What does this word mean?” HR replied loudly because he couldn’t hear well

20.told my girlfriend she could wash her private parts cold since it’s cold outside

21.if replying comments is virtue then I should be saint already!

22.asked my girlfriend why she washed her mouth instead of telling him directly

23.a blind man begging on street wearing sunglasses had his money taken away by an intoxicated man.

24.the above story happened again except this time the blind man explained he wasn’t alone but had a friend waiting outside as he took pictures for him while doing so

25.prioritize China having no virgins over Japan having one!